Marriage: Communication & Infidelity

It was very interesting to read the assignments this week. I am not married, so it was hard to be able to think about it in my own life, but it was very useful to learn!

            This week we talked about the next steps after marriage. Sadly, we only had one day to discuss a very lard topic, but I will include the more important information that stuck out to me. While in class, one topic that stuck out to me was how important communication is in a relationship after marriage. In one of my previous blogs, I spoke about the differences between men and women and their mannerisms and ways of thinking.

            Regarding a couples intimacy, it was interesting to know that there is a “process” for women, It was also interesting to learn that for men, it was quite the opposite! To express that they feel safe, warm, and close, men initiate physical intimacy with their wife. On the other hand, women need to feel safe, warm, and close in order to do the same. In my opinion, as a man, I do feel like we sometimes do not communicate as efficiently as we should. Though I am not married, it was great to learn that it is important for a couple to talk about their sex life in order for both sides to be satisfied. Right away, the first thought that came to my mind is that communication between both the man in woman is so important but we may overlook certain things. Once married, both are a team and are to be united.

            In that sense, we learned about three types of infidelity that can occur between a married couple: sexual, emotional, and financial. My professor said, “One flesh, one heart, one wallet”, and I thought this was so funny but at the same time an inspirational quote. I truly believe that a couple should be as he said. Nothing should be withheld from one another, for there is no need. Yet, I learned that couples can be slowly reeled in to thinking that there are certain things that they can either continue to do or think because there is nothing wrong.

One example that our professor shared is a financial situation. He explained that sharing one bank account is ideal. Why? Because as he stated, it is “one wallet” and there is nothing that should be hidden. I learned that at times there are married couples that do not share the same account, and at times those can be traps for them that leads toward infidelity within the relationship. The husband or the wife can be making different expenses behind the others back. They could be seeing another individual, or even there is no trust between them. The same is for the emotional side. For many of us, we all have a great best friend who we can rely on to speak about our hard times. I learned that once married, this can be dangerous. We begin to attach ourselves emotionally toward that friend and over time, what seemed as an innocent action can lead to a great fall. The emotional attachment made me think about my interactions with my friends this week that are married. It brought me to ponder about what I was doing, and whether I should continue. I am grateful that I was able to ponder and reconsider some of my actions!

So for those married, be wary of your actions and consider your significant other. And for those like me, I hope that we can ponder about our actions as well in leading up to marriage, for I feel that many of the things that married couples do can be applied to some situations even when in a simple relationship leading to marriage!