Family Stressors: The ABC-X Model

     The focus of this week was discussing family stressors. I thought this one to be super interesting as it reminded me of my own family and how we dealt with certain situations.

    While in class, we discussed three different outcomes that families face after trials: they come out weaker, normal, or stronger after the stressor. We were introduced to a study done by Hill (1949) where he studied families and came up with the ABC- X model.

A = Actual Stressor
B = Parent’s resources/strengths
C = Cognitions (Thought process)
X = Experience

    When one thinks about it deeply, at times our own families have experienced a major stressor in life and could apply this model directly to it. In my own experience, I can confidently say that there have been many occasions where my family was in such a situation.

    Growing up, my family was never the richest. We live a modest life now, but before in order to get to where we were my parents had to work through many challenges. When I was around the age of 3 or 4, we lived in a very small house. It had a kitchen, living room, and one bedroom for a family of 7. I don’t remember how this affected us as kids, but whenever my parents recount the story of how we used to live back then and the decisions they had to make, it helps me understand what it means to have trials in life. The stressor, for my parents, was that we did not have a sufficient income to move and it was hard to provide for what my dad made at the time. On some occasions, my father would tell me how much my mother and him would worried, argued, or were saddened in the situation they were in. One thing I admire about my dad was his faith and positivity. We are a religious family, and he always paid his tithe to the church. Though he was scarce on money, he paid tithe regardless of how tight on money they were. My mother was always opposed to the idea. My father had faith that God would help them move forward and find a way out. Though my mother was not on board, she had faith in my dad. She knew how much he loved his family and what he would do to make sure we had a roof over our heads and food. Those were my parents’ strengths. The resources we had were limited, but the church and community played a major role. For a few years, my parents persisted and eventually we moved into the home that I have lived in for almost 18+ years. Whenever my parents tell us about how they made it out and were able to move forward, it brings me hope that even in the hardest times, we can make it out of our hardest trials. The outcome of that experience for my family? We know that no matter what we may face, if we persevere and work hard, tough times can be beat. As an adult now, I thank my parents for their mentality and positivity. It is through their example that I can move forward with confidence.

    This is one of many experiences that I can apply to my own life with my family. Each time, we have all grown and learned many things. I am sure that for those that read this, there are times where you can look back into your life to identify certain things that caused great stress to your family that required an adjustment. Look deeply and reflect, how did that affect your family? Was their growth or the opposite? When we learn from the past and apply it to our future, it becomes a steppingstone for growth!