The Role of a Father

How important is the role of a father? I would like to invite you to think and ponder this question, for a few moments before reading on.

When we think about the structure of a family, two important figures are the mother and the father. Of course, their roles vary within each culture, but needlessly to say, they are a central figure to the growth of their kids. Although, we tend to focus on the role of the mother more than the father. The purpose of this blog today is to focus on the father, and his role.

Sanja Lagudu, BPharm, MBA, wrote an article about the qualities a father, which was medically reviewed by Dr. Sadhvi Mythili, MD. There were 5 qualities that I’d like to center my focus on, each one resonates with me because these are qualities I saw in my own father.

1. Affection – I’m sure that many of us rarely see our father’s show true affection like our mother would. At times hugs and kisses are not common. Maybe even at times we rarely see a father cry during our childhood. Even so, his affection is shown in his own way, being the superhero behind the scenes.
2. Respecting the mother – Children learn through observation, and I believe this to be an important quality of a father. I saw it in my own life, and I value this quality greatly. A mutual respect between a mother and father allows children to learn the value of both parents.
3. A teacher – When it comes to life, a father’s wisdom can have a different effect than a mother’s. When their child falls away and takes a wrong turn, a father is waiting with open arms.
4. Spending time with kids – Coming home from work, a father can be exhausted mentally and emotionally. They do not spend time with their kids as much as a mother would, but the times that they do make it memorable for his children.
5. Encouraging – Seeing one parent at a competition brings happiness to the son or daughter. Seeing both mother and father one the stands gives a sense of love that is hard to describe. As a father, making time to attend competitions or events makes a difference to a child’s life.

I know that it was through these qualities that made a difference to my life growing up. At first, growing up with my dad was hard. I did not understand why he wanted me to do certain things. One example was attending church and participating in other activities. This resulted in many fights between him and I. During this time, I looked up to my older brother and followed his example. He rebelled and so did I, and it brought my dad great sadness.

My father lost his dad when he was young, at around the age of 12 to cancer. Whenever, he spoke to us, he always would tell us this story and remind us that he did the best for us because he wanted us to learn good things and to enjoy life. Due to my attitude, I never listened and ventured away. Though, my father loved me too much to let me do as I pleased and always was behind me. For years, he did the best he could. There were many times that I never deserved somethings in my life. I was a stubborn, snobby, rude, and lost child. All my father wanted was that I believed in God, led a happy life, and made the right decisions.

I remember one day, this was back in high school, I decided to be a better person. In one car ride, I asked my dad a certain question, “Why do you wear the same clothes?” I will never forget his reply. “It’s because all I have, I give to you, my family.” I never understood why he said that with a smile. I was brought to tears. Even now, remembering this moment in my life moves me, because I never understood that a father’s love is shown behind the scenes. They work every day for hours to sustain their family. Whatever they have, the give freely and happily. Their child has a field trip and needs a lunch, but they are short on money. The father will figure something out. Does their child need new equipment for sports? New shoes? Clothes? A father will do what he can to bring joy to their family. Even if it means sacrificing himself.

As an adult, I cannot fully comprehend his actions, but I know that when I have my own family that I will soon. Many times when I find myself in a hard spot in life, I look back in my life and try to remember the things that my dad taught me. I’ll give him a call and ask him for advice. I am grateful for what my father has given me. He has helped me understand my emotions. He provided me a home, fed and clothed me. He provided wisdom when I needed. He made a way for me to come closer to God. He loved me for who I am. My dad helped me grow into the person I am today, along with my mother. They both hold a special place in my heart. 

Source:

Lagudu, S. (2023, February 17). How to be a good father: 9 qualities you should have. MomJunction. Retrieved March 19, 2023, from https://www.momjunction.com/articles/how-to-be-a-good-father_00427023/

Medically reviewed by Dr. Sadhvi Mythili, MD