Marriage and Family: The 4 Theories

    In preparation to understand the class, we were given a few materials to read. One of those materials was Lauer & Lauer, a document that explains Marriage and Family in America. It was a document full of interesting information that I had not known, but what caught my eye was the section that spoke about certain theories within marriage and family.

What is a theory?

    Simply put, a theory is to help explain something, it allows us to make sense of ideas that are hard to grasp. A well-known example is the theory of Evolution. This theory explains that all living things have an ancestor in which they evolved from. I’m sure that after reading about the theory of Evolution you thought about how humans evolved from primates, or apes. You are correct! Now that we have an understanding of a theory, let us move on to how this applies to families.

1) Systems Theory

    This theory explains that a family must be analyzed as a whole and not individually. At first this might not make sense, so let me use an example to explain. If you were given eggs, flour, salt, butter, sugar, and milk, what would you think? If you were me, I would drink the milk and then leave everything else alone since I wouldn’t really know what to do with the rest. These are the ingredients used to bake a cake! All these ingredients when combined make a sweet dessert that many love.

    This example helps explain what the system theory is about. There are individual small things that make up the whole. In a family, each individual is an ingredient that helps understand the family as a whole. If you remove a few of the ingredients necessary for the cake, one wouldn’t achieve what they wanted in the end. The same is the for the family. Lauer & Lauer explains that “what appears to be an individual’s problem may be a problem arising out of the family system.”, meaning that in some instances when there are issues within the family, there is something happening as a whole that is affecting the system and thus the individual. The systems theory explains the importance of analyzing the family itself to understand the problem at hand and to find a solution.

2) Exchange Theory

    A much simpler theory, this idea can be used to explain intimate relationships and the reason why we invest in such things. The document Lauer & Lauer explains that we try to “keep our costs lower than our rewards” and gives some examples of what “cost” can be like: money, time, emotional or intellectual energy.

    Think of a time where you were in a relationship or were pursuing someone that you liked. Everyone is different in what they give, in such cases with relationships it could be time, money, and emotional energy. In this case let us use time. You feel attracted to someone of the opposite sex and in turn you begin to spend time with them to be closer and enjoy activities. The other person responds as well by giving up their time since they enjoy your presence. Sometime down the line, this person stops giving you their time and attention and slowly pulls away. You continue to pursue them, yet to no avail they push away. At this point, you’ve realized that there is no point in giving your time and attention to someone who is not willing to reciprocate. This leads to one pulling away since the reward is no longer greater than the cost. Early on, there was fun, happiness, and joy as a reward because of time and attention given (cost). Overtime, the cost of giving time turned greater and the reward was no longer there. This is what the exchange theory can explain, that whenever in a relationship, we tend to act on things that motivate us by giving us something in return.

3) Symbolic Interaction Theory

    “Symbolic interaction theory views humans primarily as cognitive creatures who are influenced and shaped by their interaction experiences” (Lauer and Handel, 1983). What or who we interact with can affect the way in which we act. I find this to be true, because in my personal life due to the things around me I begin to change. One example in my life was listening to country music. Growing up, I was not a big fan of country music and avoided it. I’m from the city of Chicago, so I listened to more rap than country. I told myself that I would never come to like nor listen to country. Yet, sometime around this time last year I was in a relationship with a girl that LOVES country. Her life revolved around being country, and on the contrary mine did not. Time went on, and since I was spending time with her, I found myself listening to country and changing my mind about it. It was due to my interaction with my girlfriend at the time that I had begun to accept country.

    I found this very interesting because this might be true for many of us! We have our own beliefs or opinions on certain subjects, but when we interact with the world around us it can either solidify our views or even change them. It’s amazing how simply by interacting with one another we can change.

4) Conflict Theory

    Perhaps the simplest theory, this idea focuses that there is conflict within groups due to scarce resources. There are many differing opinions and interests in the world today. Whether in the family or as a group, there is conflict.

    One example brought up in the document speaks about Feminism where “some believe that men have an inherent advantage in the power struggle because they possess more of a crucial resource – money.”, and the important thing to note here is that the resource being money. How can this be applied to marriage? There can be times that either the husband or wife can feel that there is no equality resulting in conflict.

Conclusion

    Overall, the theories that were presented here caught my eye and enlightened me greatly. It is amazing to see that there are still many things to learn about family, and my hope is that you were able to learn if even a little!